Is the guy you’re dating married? If only it could be as simple as looking to see if he’s wearing a ring! As you probably know, nothing is that simple, so if he isn’t wearing a wedding ring, don’t assume he’s available. Ask questions. If his answers are vague, or they don’t seem to make sense or fit together with other things he’s told you, don’t believe him.
 
Even if they have a quick answer, it’s best to check up and make sure. I met a guy in a club who wasn’t wearing a ring, didn’t seem to have a tan line from a ring, said he’d been divorced “since October,” was living with a male roommate, and guess what! A month later, when I was head over heels in love with him, on the day that I was moving to another city to be with him, he was moving back in with his wife! That was the day I found out that he was still married!
 
Lots of men don’t like wearing jewelry, and some can’t wear a ring because of the type of work they do. However, I believe the main reason married men don’t wear wedding rings is because they don’t want women to know they are married. When I was 16, I got involved with a teacher my school. Yep, student – teacher sexual abuse. He said he didn’t wear a ring because he broke that finger years ago, and it swelled, and the ring never fit after that. Like it couldn’t be resized! He obviously wanted to appear as if he were single!
 
So he’s not wearing a ring… look for a tan line and/or indentation where the ring would be. If you see the line, the ring might as well be there. He’s married, and he thinks you’re stupid enough to buy into whatever he tells you.
 
Looking for a ring or a tan line helps when you meet in person, but there are lots of people who meet online. It’s not as easy, but there are warning signs you can pick up on in that kind of situation, too. The following is a list of some of the things you should look for in order to see if a guy is married or in a committed relationship, whether you meet him in person, or online:
 
1. He’s not wearing a wedding ring, but there’s a ring tan line and/or indention.
 
2. He doesn’t give you his number. 
My experience with meeting guys online is that they are quick to offer their phone numbers. If he doesn’t send you his phone number after a few emails, there’s usually a reason.
 
3. He gave you his number, but when you call (or text) after business hours or on weekends, he never responds.

4. He asks for your number, and he calls, but from a blocked number.

5. He calls you only during business hours (because after hours, he’s with his wife and children, or significant other).

6. He will see you, but only at your house, or in your town (because he’s hiding you).
 
7. He won’t give you his address or the name of the company where he works (because he wants to be able to disappear without your finding him).
 
8. He says he’s single, but he won’t give you any details about his past (because he doesn’t want you to be able to find out anything about him or his family).
 
9. He says he’s divorced, but he won’t speak specifically about his ex or children (because he’s not divorced).
 
10. He won’t take you out in public (because he’s hiding you).
 
11. He drives to your house, but wants to take your car if you go out (because he wouldn’t be as likely to be noticed).
 
12. He takes you out, but only to obscure places where he won’t know anyone.
 
13. He always wants to take you out of town (because the wife and children are in town).

14. He won’t introduce you to people he speaks to when you’re with him in public (because he wants to be able to explain you away).
 
15. He won’t take you around his family or friends (because you’re a secret).

16. He won’t let you (or anyone else) take pictures of him or of the two of you together.

 
Some men work away from home and have an apartment or hotel suite in the city where they work. They might take you to that ‘home,’ but if the wife or other women are ever there, he won’t allow you to leave anything there. Ask him if he minds. If he says it’s okay, don’t assume he’s not married or that he’s not seeing anyone else. Maybe the wife doesn’t ever go there. Or maybe he just hides your things when you leave.
 
I wasn’t able to find a website where you could access public records without paying a fee. However, if you’re suspicious that someone you’re seeing could be married, it’s worth paying for the information, especially in the seven states where the other woman/other man can be sued by the betrayed spouse! Those states are Illinois, Mississippi, New Hampshire, New Mexico, South Dakota, Utah and North Carolina. (See “Can You Sue the Other Woman?” )
 
There are lots of little clues you can pick up on if you pay close attention. For instance (except for sociopaths), most people won’t look you in the eye when they are being deceptive. If he won’t look you in the eye, or if he won’t give you a straight answer, he’s hiding something or lying.
 
Keep emotional distance between you and someone new (meaning don’t sleep with him too soon), so you can weigh the evidence objectively. If not, you won’t want to see the warning signs that might be flashing right in front of your eyes. Keep your eyes wide open for those warning signs, becau
se if you don’t, you might very well wish you had!