I know that I’ve made many, many mistakes, and I’ve made lots of bad decisions in which I hurt you, and I also hurt myself. If it helps, please take comfort in the fact that I’ve suffered more than you can imagine.
 
Please understand that I do not take pleasure in knowing that I caused pain in any way. There were times in the past when I had bad feelings toward some of you, and I’m sorry for that. I no longer harbor those feelings.
 
I have a great deal of anxiety with regard to the times when I was involved with someone who was either still legally married, or in an otherwise committed relationship. I know it was wrong, and I’m sorry for my part in their committing adultery or cheating on a partner. Please know that being involved in those relationships under those circumstances was NEVER WHAT I WANTED!
 
I never went looking for a married or otherwise committed man. It just seemed like they were the only ones who were attracted to me. The single ones didn’t appear to be interested. That doesn’t justify my actions, but it is one of the reasons that these things happened. Regardless of the reasons, I’m sorry for your pain.
 
When I was 16, a married teacher at my high school started an affair with me that nearly destroyed me. He taught me what men were like and what I was worth.  I’m not using that as an excuse, but it was the beginning of a journey that took me on some very dark roads–most of which I wish I had never known. I sincerely regret that these things caused pain to you, as well as to me.
 
One reason I decided to share my pain is so you could see that my life has not been just one big party. I’ve suffered my entire life at the hands of men, for the most part. I’ve been cheated on, lied to, slapped, kicked, strangled, punched, thrown to the floor, raped, and abused in myriad mental and emotional ways. I feel sure that I’ve cried enough tears to swim in. Please enjoy that fact.
 
I’m not looking for your sympathy or pity. I’m sharing this so you will know that I’ve suffered, and I’ve been punished. Only God can determine what else I’ll have to suffer. But please know that my life has been very painful and that I hope you can get some measure of peace in knowing that.
 
Again, I’m asking for your forgiveness. I’m sorry that my actions hurt you. I don’t expect that any of you will ever want to know me or contact me, but if you would like to, I am willing to talk with you. It’s easier to reach me on Facebook. There are too many messages from this site for me to be able to read.
 
I hope that this letter will serve to ease some of your pain, hate, and anger, and that it might take away some of the bad feelings you have toward me. I know you see me as a monster, but please understand that I’m just another hurting woman who is terribly sorry for the mistakes she made that caused you pain. 
 
I wish you all the best of everything, and I hope that this will help you to move on and to get to a more peaceful place in your lives. 
 
Sincerely,
Kitten